I thought that this update that I will be a little less serious than my other times. Really, I could not come up with anything other than a Top Ten list for this week. So, let’s start this sucker...

10. If you believe that you can tell the difference between Butter and “I Can’t Believe it’s not Butter!”- Then, you are crazy. Let’s look at the facts: Fabio can’t tell the difference, Fabio’s wonderful guest commercial babe can’t tell the difference, and I doubt you even care about whether you can or not. Basically, I think that if you do care that you can tell the difference and tell everyone you know; then, you are probably crazy.

9. You believe the Seventies are coming back- You are a lost hope to humanity. Really, I can name three good things about the seventies: my sister being born in 1975, Star Wars: A New Hope in 1977 and Empires Strikes Back in 1980, and the election of President Ronald Reagan in 1980. Otherwise, the decade was either an eternal party of crack and cheap booze or eternal work to make up for other people partying. What good was the Seventies? In my opinion, it was like watching paint dry, boring.

8. You think that Star Wars III will have a happy ending- You are completely insane. How do dark times get dark if there is a happy ending in Stars Was III? They can’t! For there to be a New Hope, there must be a period of hopelessness. Plus, Natalie Portman must die, so there will no happy ending in Episode III.

7. You believe that the Decepticons are the heros of the Transformers Saga- Somehow over the years, certain people believe that the Decepticons, the villains, were the heros of this modern epic story. Really, I am not lying. Basically, they hang out over at Rec.toys.Transformers.moderated where they are led by a woman named Raksha. Personally, I think they make up everything they claim as canon. It’s a nice notion because a lot of the early Decepticon toys were really solid toys and characters like Starscream and other Seekers(F-15 Jets),but their argument falls flat on their face when you mention the package says, “Evil Decepticons.”

6. You go to Klingon Summer Camp- Basically out somewhere either in Wyoming or Montana, there is a summer camp for learning Klingon culture and language. Probably, none of the cool fighting weapons are used, though. However why on Earth, would anyone want to go to a summer camp for Klingons? It’s not like you get to have mock battles with the Federation camp across the river. Basically, you end up learning to eat grab worms live and sing in Klingon. Woohah! You are going to be great at parties.

5. You think that your after school job will allow you to get a hot car- Basically in high school, I thought that you might be able to pay for stuff with an after school job. Well, the truth is that if you work fifty hours a week then you will get some money. Basically I work twenty hours a week, and I made a pitiful sum of about a hundred dollars a week.However, working any comes with a price: your school work and friends. After one semester of working, I quit, and I never have regretted it. Especially, since everyone tries to make you join the union when your sixteen which is illegal at least in the State of Texas.

4. You find the American Godzilla more interesting than the Japanese Godzilla- In all truth for the first thirty minutes of American Godzilla, I hoped the American Godzilla looked like the Japanese Godzilla My innocent hoped was crushed by the first appearance of that horrible iguana; oh the pain, the thing is a giant iguana. At least they had the good taste to kill the thing at the end because of its incredibly ugly mug. Actually in Godzilla 2000, the Japanese poke fun at the US interpretation with the creature that fought the real Godzilla this time. It looks a lot like the American Godzilla. Take that Centropolis.

3. You hate the eighties- In all honesty to me, the eighties was the best decade of this century. The nation was revitalized by the Reagan Administration. People were doing fewer drugs. Cartoons were violent. Ah the eighties, how could anyone hate the eighties? Maybe if you like the Spears girl, I could see someone hating the eighties, but I hope to never meet anyone who hates the eighties.

2. You watch Sports Center every time it comes on- I have met a couple people in my time on Earth who love this show to death. They watch it like a religion. Really, I cannot understand this devotion to a show. What is it Josh(my roommate)? Sailor Moon is on? Well I gotta go watch Sailor Moon for thirty minutes...........Well, I’m back; oh, well, I see.

Well the final reason that you may be crazy is .................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. ........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

1. If you are considering voting for Al Gore- I don’t even need to explain this one.